A relationship characterized by huge gap in age is really nothing new! Some individuals even go for older or younger partners intentionally.
A term coined to label this type of relationship is “May-December Romance”. May describes the younger person who is in the “Spring” of his or her life while, December refers to the older person who is the “Winter” part of life. Although there is no specific age requirement, relationship experts suggest that there must be a difference of 11 or more years.
To paint a picture, some of the famous couples who did not mind the gap are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (16 years difference) as well as Dolphy and Zsa Zsa Padilla (36 years difference).
Much like any other relationship, this so-called May-December Romance has its ups and downs.
1. Financial Stability
Generally speaking, older man or women are more financially stable and settled. Financial stability allows to enjoy the many pleasures of life. Also, you do not have to worry about living from paycheck to paycheck! This is not only good for your physical but also to your mental well-being.
A product of this benefit is that the younger partner is often showered with gifts.
2. Maturity and Experience
If I were to enter in a May-December relationship, it will be for maturity. I can only imagine that being with an experienced individual can help me make better decisions as “my partner” is guided by his wisdom.
People who are older than you can essentially guide you through a particular situation that they previously handled themselves.
3. Knowledge Expansion
Dating someone older or younger than you can expand your knowledge about different generations. Just ensure that you are taking your partner’s interesting talks positively.
Let us focus on one of the trending couples today – Dr. Vicky Belo and Dr. Hayden Kho. In terms of knowledge of technology, the first video game console as well as the first computer mouse were invented when Dr. Belo was a child. In contrast, the World Wide Web became a thing when Dr. Kho was a child. He can guide her in using modern social media platforms while she can share the tales of “old-school” tech.
1. Health Issues
One of the biggest challenges that you may face when in a relationship with an older partner is the possibility of taking care of them due to an existing serious illness. Your parents may be against the idea of seeing you take care of someone else while you are still on your prime. However, you must keep your cool and realize why you are in the relationship.
If you genuinely love the person, it will only come natural for you to take care of him or her.
2. Society Disapproval
An obvious barrier that you may face is negative society appraisals. Being in a May-December relationship brings rise to the stereotypes such as “gold diggers” for younger women and “cougars” for older women. The reactions of your family and friends can be influenced by these stereotypes.
When caught in this type of situation, licensed Texas counselor Gayle Luster suggests you to tell your family that you understand their concerns. If this does not work, you must keep family visits short.
Realize that you cannot live to please everyone else. No matter how perfect your life may seem, you still cannot win the hearts of everyone!
3. Blending Families
If one or two of you have children from previous relationships, the dynamics of the family shall be discussed in the early stages of romance. Shall you consider your current partner as the new “mother figure” or as an “older sister” to your children? Shall you raise your children using the Aussie or the Pinoy way?
Dr. Helen Fisher, an author and a biological anthropologist who married that’s 21 years older, says that you must not win the children over by acting your age. It seemed healthier for their family that she takes the role of an aunt rather than the “new mother” to their children.
Another issue that may arise is whether or not you want to have children of your own. Discuss this with your partner, as soon as possible.